Step By Step...Ease It In Slow..

A Man Most Important

nobody@vox.com(Mockery) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 14:25:54 -0700

So a while back, while glancing at the news sites (which I do from time to time) and ending up over on the ABCNews.com website, I found this little article about a man named Randy Pausch. He was a 47 year old father of three, who was a professor at Carnagie Mellon University. He was also terminally ill, dying of cancer. Now at first I was very sad - looking at someone who was obviously in the prime of his life die of such a horrendous disease, and that always makes me question why the world is the way it is.

Then I heard the lectures that ABC had posted on their website and I don't think I've ever encountered anyone more realistic and smitten with life as he was. It was a beautiful, emotional, funny experience and though I had to "go" half hour into the first lecture video, I ended up watching it in it's entirety. I think it was a three hour lecture?

This man was absolutely awe inspiring with the zest for life and laughter he seemed to have.

Anyway, he passed away on July 25th and wherever he is, I am sure he is laughing and smiling and blessing all those around him.

So you don't have to find it, in case you are wondering who this wonderful man is...I'm going to re-post the videos here.

And make sure you watch the videos in their entirety. His life lessons are absolute and wonderful.

Randy Pausch Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

Randy Pausch Lecture: Time Management

So there you have it. I'll post more when I'm not doing some computer related things.

Sometimes, life is very confusing.

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Taking a second to say

nobody@vox.com(Mockery) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:38:59 -0700

I've officially turned 30 today.

*Does a dance*

And ya know what, I'm doing okay.

Going back to reinstalling my computer software *Come reformatted and lost everything. I am considering this it's way of telling me it needed a change. lol*

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What Helped?

nobody@vox.com(Mockery) — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 11:32:03 -0700

After about six days of severe internet connection issues and blowing out one ear drum (I listen to music far, far too loud sometimes), I finally have decided to start bringing internet back around in my life. I am not quite yet talking to everyone nor making a presence as I don't feel like being around everyone. I do however feel like blogging.

I literally spent the weeks following the break up in a huge web of just unbelievable sadness. I moped around my house and was barely eating, which by all accounts was not good for my health. I wasn't listening to music and I wouldn't talk to anyone or accept phone calls. It was like I was in mourning. It was also very theraputic. I needed that sadness and I needed to embrace it to get back to where I was on the road to being healthy again. In the midst of so much drama with the audit and the sickness constantly and the moving back and forth with the job - something needed to give and at the worst possible time...pretty much everything did. It was borderline tragic. But then something great happened. Some people who I really needed but pushed away, decided to push back and I got tired of being sad. Suddenly I could listen to my music again and I could smile and I found myself laughing at some insane things. Suddenly it started being okay to be here and not have him around, and all the bad things would resolve themselves in their own time.

So where am I now? I'm listening to Kenny Chesney because I am on a country music kick and I'm in Photoshop working and creating, and the audit thing is coming up soon (Cross my fingers) - and I get to fly out for a few job interviews in the next month or so.

As for he and I. Well, I still talk to him - and now, finally, I can do it without breaking out into tears within 5 minutes - mostly because there were issues we both had and although the undoing was mine in the end, it is what it is. Will we be friends? I don't know if I want that or I want to be that - I love him, but seeing him with someone else or knowing about it would be far too painful right now. Although I dunno..some of the things he said in our last conversation make me think ya know, maybe it wouldn't be. Especially if he's this cold. But he's a good man and for better or worse, this is what it is. - Moving on now. Now though, I am going to go walk my dogs and do my things, and I'll post a new creation later ;-)

Love, Mock.

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